Sunday, July 02, 2006

Green Inventions That Aren't

Since I just got back from Utah, where I could actually smell life in the air as opposed to Houston where I am oppressed by the flatulent odor of hundreds of factories that never stop oozing whatever into the air, I'm wondering just where in the hell is the Sky Vac.

We have rockets, we have airplanes, we have little cameras that can be cranked down into a person's veins, we have chemicals that if released into the air or water would poison a city the size of New York. So why do we sit around marvelling at the genius of our species in air contaminated by factory and motor vehicle feces? Why isn't there a vacuum to clean up all the toxins from the air?

I admit that it would be complicated to create. How to create a large enough machine that wouldn't create as many toxins while it worked as it ate up, for instance. Or, more prosaically, how not to suck up the birds and butterflies.

Still, if there's one thing I've become more certain of as I get older, the world is continents full of really smart people. It seems we not only should be able to suck up the toxins, but that we should be able to convert them to something we need more of. Ozone, chocolate, organic blueberries, something.

4 comments:

Fiddler said...

Great idea... I hope someone will get right on it... Well, someone who has hopes of making it work anyway, that isn't me :) But, I'll vote for it!

GreenDaddy said...

I really like the word you invented in this post -- "vehicle excrement." Maybe if we just used your neologism instead of "exhaust," I think we could stop global warming.

chuck said...

the air up here (western massachusetts, eastern and central new york) smells like fresh water. i can't stop breathing.

WENDY said...

And now Richard Branson is offering a gazillion dollars for somebody to do that very thing! How prescient of you.

http://environment.guardian.co.uk/climatechange/story/0,,2009530,00.html