I need your advice. It's true I'm into inheriting friends' and strangers' discarded items and thereby:
- saving a buck
- adding to our home's retrofabulous "design plan"
- preserving the planet's rapidly dwindling resources
- freeing up space in the landfills (which, I know, my Hummer-driving, consumer-crazy neighbors in the burbs will thank me for)
And this is what he said: Hi MaGreen. We're done. We've loaded all of our friends' stuff into the moving van.
I said, Good!
He said: Do you want a rug?
Me (thinking, how thoughtful it is that GreenDaddy remembers I was just saying how it would be easier on my knees if I could play with BabyG on a rug instead of the hardwood floors): Ooooh, a rug?!
GreenDaddy: Yeah. It has a sort of oriental pattern.
Me: Oooooh...
GreenDaddy: But it has diarrhea on it. (Being funny) Not Rube or Angel's. It's the puppy's.
Me: (Confused) Do YOU want the rug?
GreenDaddy: It's fresh diarrhea from last night.
Me: But you want it?
GreenDaddy: (Pauses) Well, it has dog hair all over it. It's covered in it.
Me (thinking that we're lucky he didn't become a salesman, but that he surely wouldn't call about a rug unless it was easily transformable and/or he really wanted it...): Ummm...Well, I guess I could rent a RugDoctor. We could clean it.
GreenDaddy: But it's wool. And it's not a really nice rug.
Me: But do you want it?
GreenDaddy: Well, it really stinks.
Me: Okay. Well, then. No, *I* don't want the rug.
GreenDaddy: Yeah. It's not a very nice rug. And it's got sort of an ugly pattern.
So my questions are: Just who does your partner think you are when he calls you up to ask if you want an ugly, stinky, puppy-diarrhea-stained wool rug? Is he the one who is addled? Is it a sign he needs a vacation? Or could it be that he thinks you'd be angry if you discovered a perfectly wretched rug had passed from out of your mutal grasp, on his watch? Or is there some other explanation I'm not thinking of?
Signed, MaGreen
Doubled over in laughter,
yet bemused
Posts
3 comments:
HAHAHAHA :)
also doubled over in laughter...
As I was reading your post and bellowing out big pregnant belly laughs, it occured to me that my husband and I have had some very similar conversations. One day he may decide to commit me so that he can resume "normal" life. He is great really, but there are times I can definitely see his confusion in my intense devotion to being "green"! Poor, poor confused man. So cute though.
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